just me...

???

2005-01-30T10:34:00.000+08:00

this is my gift and curse. its my gift that i have it, then again its my curse that i can't have it. its the one that i ever wanted... yet i'm haunted by it.. y now??

" show me the way "

wats wrong???!!!!

2004-12-25T01:53:00.000+08:00

day by day... i'm feeling more shitty. dis place is no longer the way it use to.. pple here look at me differently. i get lots of remarks.. hurtful remarks, from those who i thot i can turn to. a little bit of support is all i'm asking. but.. pple here jus had to beat me to the ground. staying out is the best... nvr did i thot i could dread heading there. an outsider... dats it.
it hurts...jus like a knife slowly piercing thru u inch by inch... as u stand there, helplessly watching ur own blood flows thru ur fingers... looking at the wound.. u saw a hand, all stained all bloody. who could ever do dis to u.. thinking.. u look up.. only to see, U.. u do dis to urself...
inside.. its rotting, its dying...

wats left is a small, flickering light...

enuf said...

2004-12-12T02:02:00.000+08:00

to the team..i won't say much. no one is at fault in my eyes.GIVE N TAKE.. COMPROMISE. think abt it!!it may jus be simple words, simple yet so strong..it goes along way. agree??

RAYA!!!!

2004-11-16T02:02:00.000+08:00

SLAMAT HARI RAYA ya all!!!!!!!!!!!! after a mth of fasting.. the mth of syawal is upon us. The festive dat brings all muslims together.. the holiday dat brings families n frens closer den ever.. The mth dat all the nice kueh2 n delicious lauk pauk is bein served, eat till dpt berak2, ulcer n sakit tekak. hahahaha..... yesh, dis is the mth!! so....... here i am.. to savout all those gd stuffs dis mth has to offer.. n not forgetting.... mintak maaf...

To the guys, my hommies, my fellow crappers...
kalau ade terkasar bahasa.. terlebih gurau smp ego ter-bruised, sori aite!! like we aalways say, all in the name of fun. kalau kacau.. smp korang tak leh angkat...abeh bunga tak tentu arah.. sori. aku mintak maaf.. ikhlas nie. harap kaorang maaf kan, kalau teramek change korang bila beli mkn. halal kan eh... maaf abg2 semua....

To the gerls, yathy n gang....
nie susah nie.. hahahha. aite gerls.. sori!!!! mi tau.. mi kacau korang byk.. smp takleh angkat. elek kiez... it shows dat korang fun!! tuh pasal slalu kena kacau. kalau mi kacau... jgn kecik hati eh.. mi tau kdg2 overboard. hahahaha.... so, gerls. thanx for all the help n deeply sori!!!

To my fellow frens.. those i know...
sori many2. sometimes my crappiness gets the better of me.. so forgive me aite.. didn't mean any harm.. jus joking. pls dun take it at heart... sori peepz!!!

To Team Champions...
my trusty mates in the action of samba!! we rule!! hahaha.. kk. sori if there's any mistakes done in our game.. all my mistakes dat leads our opponent to score against us. kalau defend tak bagus ke, attack sort ke... or disrupt the flow of our game. sori guys!!! i try to be better. HAHAHAHHA...

To those i didn't mention...
wat can i say... SORI!!!! peace....

happy holidays ya all..... dun sad! chill..... its all gd in dis mth of ours... peace.. slamat hari raya again

lost in my own thots...

2004-11-06T14:09:00.000+08:00

hey peepz.. hear me out. giving u a piece of my mind... if u guys out there haf the chance to be wif dat special someone u long for. anyone at all.. n u prepare to give it all. jus go for it...tell dat someone how u feel.. don't hold it back. cos in the end it might turn out gd for all u know. keeping it back means u are on a verge of losing it all. all u ever hope, all u might ever wanted out of it.. lies in ur hands.. initially its up to u to make it happen. u are responsible for ur own actions, ur own thots... ur own self. u don't realise wat u haf till its gone.... even the slightest smallest thing is precious.. one day its there, another day it may jus disappear. treasure wat u ever haf... cos u will nvr know, it can leave u at anytime. SO.. GO! tell dat special someone how u feel... make the 1st move. dun hold it back.. or u will REGRET!!! REGRET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! den.. u will start to think wat u did wrong, wat went wrong.. wish u could turn back time n ammend it, make it all better. u will begin to think all those times u had... smiling to urself. being happy for jus dat slipt sec.. but as soon as reality crashes down on u.. u know where u stand, u know how u feel. ALL LOST INSIDE!!! the feeling ain't nice... dun gamble wif ur heart n feelings... FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! ever these quotes " absence makes the heart grow fonder" ... how abt " if u love someone, u let him/her go ". BULLSHIT!!!!!! fuck up qoutes made up by dumb stupid pple. these qoutes are ALL LIES!!!!!!! FUCK... i dun care no more... i dun care how i feel.. how i think. having feelings..it will cause u nothing more but damage. its better bein emotion-less... watever is inside of me.. its dead.. y??? cos i jus killed it.... n now i'm happy...

its been a while

2004-11-05T01:28:00.000+08:00

Finally.. my supps are over. hope i make it thru. thanx to those who as help me study. really appreciate it guys.To yathy, my best gerl buddy, always goin to sch wif me.. non-stop wif her nagging. thanx gerl..To azima n rino, thanx for teaching me maths n dfund.. great teachers u both..To the guys... hahahaha must i say more.. crapping is our best forte.. hahahha...
n not forgetting TEAM CHAMPION!!! Boy, Khai, Li, Noor n Nyet. This is a great team... great players. i'm proud to be in it. HAHAHA... u jus can't deny.. we getting better n better. believeee dat!! champions out.. heez

its all gd...

2004-10-25T13:43:00.000+08:00

a new layout.... abt me?? everything is goin alrite. all goin smooth, maybe i prefer it dis way.. maybe its all for the better. hope so

shiteeeee.......

2004-10-18T15:38:00.000+08:00

man.. i feel more shity everyday. the feeling jus getting more n more n more...SHIT!!! fuck.. !!! dunno wat to do... dunno wat to think. dis is damn fuck up!! i'm like coming tp a point where i wanna let it all out. find sumthing to vent my anger on. F U C K~ sometimes.. watever ah!!!

dumb...

2004-10-14T16:30:00.000+08:00

be strong... i got ur back.. dun weri. when u fall, i'll be there to catch u in any way i can. try to live ur life as fruitful as u can. u deserve so much better... there are pple ard u dat cares. cares for u... it jus shit..shit having to got thru dis now. pple may not understand. but they are trying to. once again... be strong aite gerl.. i know u can..

its like dis...

2004-10-13T22:31:00.000+08:00

i feel as if i'm living in the shadows....

stuck in my head....

2004-10-08T17:07:00.000+08:00

" ....On broken wings I'm falling...and it won't be long. The skin on me is burning...by the fires of the sun. On skinned knees I'm bleeding...and it won't be long. I've got to find that meaning... I'll search for so long .... "

let me see....even better let me feel

2004-10-04T18:31:00.000+08:00

wondering..n keep on wondering wat will happen when its over... gd? bad? i dunno... dunno wat to expect. its been lingering in my head... every day, every min... hoping to see a sign. wanna keep it close... but it gets far when its there, jus when its there next to me. whenever i feel warmth, it turns cold... all the opposite happens now. pls don't let it be.. the emptiness in me in bein filled.. dun let drain away.. i cherish the time.. no matter how short it is. sometimes it gets to me.. wat must i do to reach it?? i do anything.. i wanna make it happen. fuck.. i feel like shit... dun take dis the wrong way. i want it real bad.. real bad.. haiz..

*here i go.. scream my lungs out, trying to get to u..."

well...

2004-09-27T11:46:00.000+08:00

sat.. climaprix. great?? great waiting for 8 bloody hours. its ok. routes?? sick..fun. kentang was there... thanx for coming.. means alot.. : )

remember??

2004-09-24T12:04:00.000+08:00

its not hard... give it a chance.. why not?? tight.. dats wat we are b4.. remember?? remember.. the little peck waiting for ya.. the hug when waiting at the mrt station, seeing u in specs for the 1st time.... clinging onto me whenever u walk... all these action it means a lot .. do u not remember dat?? happy... all happy, i know u are back den, now??.. don't throw it away. great things come in small packages... i want dis small packages back... will u give it??... hmmmmmm

hmmm...part2

2004-09-23T12:13:00.000+08:00

u stick to wat u think... i stick to wat i think. one is determined, he has a chance. if one is so determined, but there's no chance to prove it den wat u call dat... so close yet so far. no chemistry=no future, being nice=not real. attention n time...if attention is given, there might be a future.. if time is on my side, u might see real. i wanna see a future, i really do.. do u?? give it a chance will u... u don't know if u don't try. i'm trying my best... i'm giving it all. remember... "thanx for givin me all the time in world".. i doin dat till now. like the saying goes..if u want it bad enuf,u might jus get it. i want it alrite.. but sometimes the ball is in ur court. try??u willing to try?? are u?? lingering ard in ur heart n mind... i'll do dat..

hmmmm....

2004-09-21T16:05:00.000+08:00

shld i??

thinking...

2004-09-20T03:48:00.000+08:00

thinking of u... den again thinking of the other side of u..

happy b'dae...

2004-09-15T17:19:00.000+08:00

its her b'dae... did spend time wif her.. its her special day n i'm the onw who's all excited. bought her a little sumthing, hope she likes it. feeling getting stronger, hope n i mean i really hope.. it turns out gd... miss her even more as days passed.. want wats is best for her. wanna see dat smile on her face.... i pray for all the happiness n joy in the world for her... she deserves to be happy. may all ur dreams come true bee.... i'll be here by ur side.. hugs dear

still holding on...

2004-09-07T23:55:00.000+08:00

i fell deep in dis feeling.... there's no way for me to turn back now. i believe there's sumthing good in the near future... only time will tell. Jus haf to haf lots of faith n wait.. its like a game.. patience n u're there.. i say i'll wait n i will. i won't let it burn... cos i know our day will come. holding on to u dear.... miss ya..

fuck up

2004-09-06T16:47:00.000+08:00

motherfucker!!! why has it have to be now???!!!! bcos of dis.. i am left in the dark... being chuck one corner. all bcos of ur stupid actions. leave her bitch... she no longer love u!! get dat in ur head...
i wait mind u!! she will be mine...

its a alive!!!

2004-09-03T16:20:00.000+08:00

yarghh... dis is a test run!!! dis blog was created as i was bored...